Silliness

Most annoying, frivolous, irritating and hugest waste of time lawsuit ever, which perfectly illustrates to me that the American society is lawsuit-happy.

It falls into the same category as suing McDonalds for getting fat off their products.
Or for suing a company for being burned by coffee that is too hot.
Or suing a nudie bar because the dancers breasts were too large and they caused whiplash.

And it just gets more and more ridiculous...

Sliced apples are annoying

The last few months seem like a blur when I think back on them. Especially when I look at my little boy, who really has become a little boy! His personality is really starting to shine and its hard to imagine him as being anything less than he is now.
The evolution is so slow you hardly even notice the time passing, and then all of a sudden 4 months are gone...

Post-pregnancy is a whole world of things that books or other peoples personal experiences cannot really prepare you for. But perhaps no-one is really willing to share the cold hard truth of it with others for fear of scaring those pregnant or soon-to-be...

It is what I imagine Rumpelstiltskin would have felt like after he awoke from that decades long slumber.

Its like your body restarting after being out in the cold all winter.

Its a lot of things you didn't ever think would be a factor.
Without going into too much detail (god forbid you should hear from me), it is an interesting experience. But funnily enough it it fits in well with motherhood, being another of those things easily forgotten as it passes.

Labour being the first and foremost.

And maybe the only other thing.

That is easily forgotten, I mean.

It was so agonizing, all of the lead up to the actual event. And then so intense for such a short period of time. And then everything just drifts away at the first glimpse of that new little being... and continued to drift in the weeks following, that the unpleasantness was easily pushed to the side in the light of the wonderousness (probably not a word) and awe of the most perfect child ever created (and seriously I know all new parents say that, but really in my case its actually true...).

Let me introduce a wee vice of mine. Celebrity gossip.
So addicting.
Must read every day.
Must read blogs on CGos every day.
Get withdrawal symptoms if not read.

However, the most annoying thing ever has got to be celebrity mums.

In light of the post pregnancy unpleasantness it is really hard to look at these creatures (as sometimes that how I feel....grrr...) as even real, and equally hard to imagine that they could possibly be going through the same things as me.

Post-pregnancy weight loss is a current huge peeve with me, probably as I am going through it. Sans personal chef, personal trainer, and 24 hour nannies.

So its terribly annoying to see women like Nicole Kidman who look like someone just cut and pasted a preg bump on their tummy and who probably (like Michael K says) just had a pillow stuffed under their shirt. And even more annoying to hear about the carefully balanced meals these people were eating. We all know that no-one was eating a sliced apple, 2 pieces of wheat toast and a handful of almonds for breakfast. Please.

Personally I think my body is perfectly fine post-pregnancy. Privately I think I need to go to the gym more. Curiously I ponder when the hell I will fit it all in.
And annoyed I wonder how many more of these stupid magazines I will read before I really really really realize that even though I look wide-eyed at 'articles' entitled "Celebs!! They're just like us!!", these creatures are not and to increase my sanity levels I really should stop reading those magazines.
And I will.
When my subscription runs out.

Life

Parenthood.
Such a wonderful thing. The hardest thing ever, of course, but also the most most rewarding.
In spite of my firm efforts to evenly share the trials and tribulations of it with my husband, being the mummy makes things uneven. There is no way at all to level that playing field.

Breast feeding makes things uneven from the start. And we are off!!
The late night feedings, mummy up all night.... and if you are like me, you try to do it all. Cleaning, bathing, feeding, changing etc etc etc and also work full time. It makes for a busy day...
Even with the offers of help, we want to do it all. But at the same time we want help. But help, at least for me anyways, is a very hard thing to ask for.

When I got married, I really thought that I would make sure that my husband and I split things evenly. Work, household duties and all that. I certainly wasn't going to have the sort of marriage like my mother had. There would be clear delineation of duty.
And there was, for a time. But as we started to go more comfortable in our marriage, things started to change. After my husband did a few loads of laundry, I quickly took over that duty. And after he made the bed a few times, I took that over as well.
I tend to be very specific in how I want things to be, and lord help the husband that doesn't follow my very specific ideas! (My husband is a very patient man)

And eventually I ended up doing the things that women traditionally do, even though I traditionally didn't want to.
Parenthood seems to follow the same path.

There are things that the mummy does that the daddy cannot.
And any mummy reading this knows exactly what I mean, even though its very hard to explain completely.
It just is....

Things I don't understand...

Why a shocking amount of men have started wearing shirts that are not only shockingly low cut/deep vee'd, but are also totally sheer and nipple revealing.
Sheer?? Not so attractive...
Deep vee/low cut?? Only in 1970 and paired with gold medallions..

Child-like

I have a serious confession to make.
Its not what you think, and its rather embarrassing.
But not that kind of embarrassing, if you know what I mean. Not like a David-Duchovny-sex-addiction kind of embarrassing, just regular embarrassing.

I am addicted to kid lit.... children's stories. And not just Harry Potter kind of stories.... although HP does double duty, but all kid's books and fables. And movies...oh, and 'Original made-for-tv movies'.
Like the one I am watching right now (Samurai Girl). Happily my husband is not at home and I can wallow in the luxury of watching this by myself and not having to put up with his snarky comments. Truly its delicious.

When I was a child my favorite book was "The Big Orange Splot". Oh man, did I ever love that book. And I carried that love with me into adulthood. I told my husband about it years ago, and he tracked it down and gave it to me as a Christmas present one year. Rereading it was a terribly wonderful treat.

And there are others.... that darn Alanna "The Woman who Rides like a Man" series, any and all old-school Disney movies from the 50's and 60's, Swiss Family Robinson, High School Musical....oh I could go on and on... but I won't...

I don't know exactly what it is that draws me in to these stories. Maybe its because I secretly long for my life to be like these stories? I would like to live in a house shaped like a boat or a castle. I wish that my cat was from outer space AND that she could talk. I want to disguise myself as a boy and enter knight-school and kick some serious ass. I really want to build an awesome tree house on a tropical island.

Speaking of tree houses..... my father used to have a cabin on a lake when I was little. We spent a lot of time there in the summer, my sister and I, when my Dad had us for his 2 week period. He was dating my stepmother at the time and she has two boys. They had built a little tree house right next to the cabin that Lins and I were obsessed with. We would spend the whole day up there, hammering away at random things, making 'curtains', that sorta thing.

I remember we were so pleased with ourselves, with all of the work that we'd put into the place. We proudly told our soon-to-be brothers about all of our work, and they scoffed at us! Told us that we had somehow made it impossible to get into the treehouse now with the pieces that we'd added, and they had just finished ripping them out!! Unbelievable! So clearly I was not meant to build a tree house... perhaps just live in one. Regardless...

Mostly they have such strong yet flawed main characters. Like me..... strong yet flawed. Like everyone. The stories reinforce humanity's simialrities. Even if we are visually so different, we are all the same but long to be different. Which makes us the same.

Perhaps a general interpretation that is a little too deep for childern's books.

I know I still want to be like Alanna though, even though its been at least 15 years since I first read her story.
And I still think it would be amazing if my breakfast came raining down out of the sky. Or if my dog suddenly talked.
All of those movies and stories keep my imagination fresh and alive and I love it. And honestly, while I say its embarrassing it's not. Not really anyways!

Fast lane...

I enjoy having issues with things. I am sure everyone does..... I am happy swim in my issues. I like to get right in there and rant away. If it doesn't make sense, fine!! Just don't interrupt.
And rambling.... I like that too...

It feels like the pace of life has picked up. Not just my life, what with having a son and all, but life in general. And not just mine, everyones...
(I am currently watching the movie Speed, and they are getting ready to jump the bus... )
I don't know if this is as a result of getting older.... I remember when I was a child, a birthday took a lifetime to arrive, and I would carefully measure my age in terms of how close I was to my next one. I remember solemnly anouncing that I was 4 and a quarter.
(They totally jumped the bus and it was awesome!!)
Now my birthday just flashes by, and this year it was the hugest non-event ever. I hardly noticed to be honest.
But really what I mean is the speed at which everything is happening. As in driving.
And people's total impatience at everything that even hints at 'slow'...

In Florida no-one even stops at a stop sign anymore. They just roll on through.... and I don't mean slowly inch forward and kind of make it look like they are stopping. I mean, people corner like they are on rails. There is no attempt to even make it look like stopping. Some people even speed up as they approach stop signs.

(Isn't it funny that I am talking about speed and I am watching Speed at the same time?? )
It seems like even the act of stopping is deemed too much of a hassle.
(Keanus is currently clinging to the underside of the bus with a screwdriver)
When did this happen?? This utter lack of patience?
In Florida, people actually use the merge lane to pass slower cars. And use exit ramps as a means to bypass them as well. It makes it tricky to navigate the roadways these days as you never know what the car in front of you is going to do. Speed up? Stop abruptly? Use hazard lights to park on a crosswalk? Who knows... its a mystery...
(Keanu's range as an actor is........umm...narrow... how can love and anger be the same?)

However, one should be careful as to how one reacts to all of this bad driving. My husband was careful to warn me never to flip off the car next to me as you never knew if they had a gun on the passenger seat or not. I get random road-rage, which has increased incident-wise since I moved South.
Once, someones poor parking lot manouvering skills led me to making a face at them. I then parked my car, went shopping and returned to find a note on my windshield that simply said "You are a moron." Nice.
(Who thinks Keanu's acting skills have improved since this movie? Ah......no.....)

Anyways, it just seems like everyone is so impatient. No-one wants to wait for anything. The faster the better. Instant gratification. Do it. Now. Do it! Now!!
Now!
Everyone wants life streamlined and easy. And the worst example of this is those darn birthcontrol ads. Why have your period 12 times a year, when you could have it 4??
Seriously, then why even have it at all? I guess if we have pills to create erections and drugs to increase fertility, then why not pills to decrease menstruation? And of course, laser treatments to permanently remove body hair.
(Wow, I am lucky tonight.... Speed is followed by Speed 2!!! Sweet!)
Everytime I think of laser hair removal, I think of a contest a local radio station had where the listeners could vote on what shape one of the female radio hosts had her pubic hair lasered into.
Seriously, who wants to be 80 and have their pubes in the shape of a dollar sign! Or a heart?

I am too tired tonight to be any more coherent than I am now... hopefully you get my gist though...
(man, I almost spelled 'gist' with a 'j'.......... jist.... looks a bit rude)
Speed=not soo good
Taking time to enjoy life=good

My bed+Dr Who Season 1 dvd= Heaven

Night!

News

I am waiting for inspiration to strike...

I have yet to decide what exactly this blog is going to be about. So I am waiting...
Sometimes its hard to decide what to ramble on about on a given day....

Clearly today I am, once again, going to ramble on about nothing....

Off the top of my head, one thing that I find constantly annoying about the United States is the overtly dramatic news programs. This is a topic I love to complain about. I use it as one of my prime examples on how the US of A and Canada are different.
24 hour news programing. Is this something thats really necessary? Really?
(I am watching the worst eighties movie right now....its called "Slamdance")
Mostly it seems as if most of this 24 hour programing is filled with increasingly detailed weather reports, updated every 10 minutes. Lord help us if there is any extreme weather, because then you just get 24 hour weather reporting. Like now! Tropical Storm Fay is currently hovering around Florida, and every news station has reporters spread out over the state, reporting every 10 minutes on whats happening.
(What on earth is he doing with that egg yolk??)
And the news casters at the news station discuss, to the death, every detail of the weather. Its boring..... boring!! And it goes on all day. Once in a while, actual news is on. You know, current topics, stuff on the upcoming election. Actual news. But mostly its weather. Oh, and traffic reports.
(How does one tease ones hair that high??)
So its mostly weather, traffic, little actual news and tons of drama and scare tactics thrown in for good measure. Lots of tag lines like "Crazed sex maniac loose in your neighbourhood?? Find out tonight at 11", "Meth lab discovered in local home. Find out where, tonight at 10". And perhaps you wait, as you really want to know if that meth lab was in your neighbourhood. And the 10 o'clock news comes on, and at 10:59 pm, they say something like "Details are sketchy...blah blah..." and you never find out even a general location.
(Does that woman have a beard?? Is it even a woman? Are they seriously chasing that car on a Vespa? What is wrong with this movie!)
The news is far to dramatic for me. Drama which I find annoying. And violent too. Violence that I find unnecessary. Violence that I do not think needs to be shown during the 'noon hour'.
(Tighty whitey briefs and a trucker hat with reindeer antlers? For a sex scene?)
About sex offender busts, murders, kidnappings, rapes etc. Pretty much every violent thing you can think of. I honestly do not remember any news like this back in Canada. I mean, I am sure there are things like that happening in Canada, but maybe not as much Or if as much, then they aren't getting around-the-clock-lead-story coverage on every major network.
(Members Only jackets are sweet!)
Even CNN, while a better news source, still falls instantly short in my eyes everytime it reports on things like the birth of Brangelina's latest batch of kids, or who Jessica Simpson is dating now.... also not news. Well, its news of sorts, but not news that needs to be on CNN! Thats what celebrity gossip blogs are for!!
(Scruffy unshaven faces, mullets and gold hoop earrings are an irresistable combination)
In general, the States isn't a bad place to live, but I really can do without that kind of drama......